In the name of god

The documentary we saw today "In the name of god" by anand patwardhan about the Ayodhya issue was unsettling disturbing and very heart wrenching.The following is my personal analysis of the whole documentary.
Firstly what struck me was how superficial the knowldge of these so called religious leaders was.Their arguments regarding it being the ram jamn bhumi were not not satisfying,logically and chronologicaly!!They inturn were supported by dedicated supporters who were iffy about the facts themselves!!The whole brouhaha was actually baseless and it was something which was totally based on assumptions.The hindus said that Barbar plundered and took their land,there "holy" land and constructed the masjid there,however they did not really see how shallow and almost rash they were in aping him!!But this wasnt it,the real problem started when political parties started endorsing either of the stands.This religious movement,like all others went to the dogs when it got a political connotation.The leaders used the bovine thinking of the public to their betterment,and people supported their favourites in order to prove their loyalty!The pro hindu side had its various sub-groups..the youth wing(rss,bajrang dal),the political wing(bjp) and the religious wing VHP.
The irony however was in the fact that the most civilised ones in this entire ordeal were the poor backward classes.Some of them were aloof of the enrire issue,others wanted peace to be restored while the others who were slightly more opiniated supported either of the sides.But their basic story was the same.......the worst affected no matter what religion they belonged to or what side was winning.the religious leaders,epitomes of stubborness,irrational and narrow thinking stuck tp their sides,resisting any and every oppurtunity of coming to a progressive and peaceful compromise.It is funny to see how easily these religious leaders supported these acts of barbarism with non existant religious facts.How easily they twisted and manupilated the truth to suit themselves.......and suddenly wrong was the new wright!!!!
To quote the pujari of the ram mandir......the religious leaders of the VHP were corrupt men,drapped in saffron playing a gimmick.The shocking truth was that educated men supported the staunch almost inhuman ways of these people.The documentary made me believe that religion has now become a brand,which is endorsed buy riots,political figures who dont shy away from making obscene comments about the religious beliefs of others.Its religion Vs love,religion Vs peace,religion Vs tolerance where as it should be a blend of all of these.Its surprising to see how something i never gave importance to,something which was always a secondary part of my identity can become my whole world!!Its incidents like these,which actually put up a question......is india secular only on paper??All the fancy jargon which we live by of "hindu-muslim" being "bhai bhai" actually does not even exist?If hindism is anti "moh-maya" then why do we ignore the fact that these relious leaders are the ones "living the good life",supporting a groundless cause???
In a land where everything works,its so easy manupilate the truth and champion your will!!!These men are like crabs when one wants to do the wright,the others drag him down.Old grudges and past laurels,these are the two main factors of this entire issue.....we cant let go of the past,we fight for it,kill for it and never in this course think about the ramifications of our actions......There is no win win situation in this case.Somebody wins at the cost of someone elses life.At the end i would just like to aks a question.....if winning isnt everything then why do we keep count????

Been where?Done what?

Today was a sad day,that's in a nutshell.Leaving your city.....FINALLY,and all the hassle with it ,is sad ,though you always wanted to do that.You leave behind alot,and take very few along......cause you have to make room for new things and the hassle they bring along.Its a wonder how we all "know" whats it is going to be like when something would happen.Like before it rains,we already "know"........everything would look different,smell different,but when it actually rains its nothing like you had in mind..........and that's when you realize......."I didn't quite know I would fee like THAT".We're no Einsteins......and we're not too experienced,we never are.Its that hollow feeling i get every time i wonder I'm not going to be "home".....its a little unsettling too.....its almost funny,as i kid i would've laughed if someone said "You're not going home for months"........and now i know.....what they mean when they say "I miss home" OR "I miss you!".Its that feeling like a knot in your heart......or your heart tied in chains......only less goth and grotesque.
In retrospect.......i have left so many people behind me,I mean my 3rd standard class-mate was SO special to me cause she helped me cheat.....or my kindergarten best pal was my world cause we had the best places to hide when it came to hide and seek.......or the new girl in the 8th standard who called me her best friend just cause i helped her catching up in the Geography class.....where are all these people,I HAVE NO IDEA.Its amazing how you just move on....like reading a book you go from chapter to chapter,page to page looking for something new,something better,something.......something else!!!!You have your favourite chapters.....with the twists and the turns and you always remember them,even though it was about the good guy dying.Someone else's heartbreak becomes your favourite song,funny the way it is!!
And yes,I'm 19 now.......and for some reason i now realise how important it is to celebrate your own birthday,I always thought it wasn't a big deal cause it comes every year and that birthday parties were a charade(you have to invite people you don't even want to).But now i think they're right,if you think about it you are never going to be 19 again.......you are going to get older and life, more complicated so its a celebration of the twisted life ahead and of the simpler life that went with the previous years...........SO REJOICE!!BE MERRY!!
I also forgave someone........yes my first encounter with forgiveness.......me accepting something as illogical as "forgiveness" was quite a fiat.See its your perception that matters,when you have a grudge its like this invisible anvil yer carrying...AND its heavy.So if you want to live and live well.....forgive the ones who did wrong not cause that's what saints do.......but for the simple reason that an ass would never know how dim he is,for an ass he's like anyone else.If you're smart enough you would cut the poor animal some slack......AND FORGIVE HIM!On a more serious note.......if you want to read the next chapter in the book of your life and if you want the end to be good.......forgive the treacherous bad guy,he's not as bright as you!And believe me,you would finally be able to say......That?Oh that was a long time back!!!!Its all about satisfaction,because happiness is a by-product,don't run after it,its elusive........its like one of those sci-fi whodunits.......when you think you know what the bad guys want.....but in the end its a TOTAL shock!
In the end all i would want to say is that its not a fairy tale we live in,where logic dies a tragic death......and fantasies have a field day,its life, its not a bitch or unfair or fair or beautiful.....or maybe its all of it,so stop putting yer life in a box with a big label on it,it doesn't need one,its like an unfinished journal..where bad things can also happen to good people and evil can behead the good and go to Hard Rock cafe and celebrate........so just live it,leave the typecasting to others........who would do it with pleasure once you're dead!

psst-And yes.....you can love your life if you want,that's totally legitimate!