Festive H[Bl]ues!!pff

OK,someone once said"When you are high,the only place you are going next is down!".Well yeah that was me and i guess i wasn't too sure how right i was,I mean bang bang on correct.HIGH!!Oh i was and you know when you are all high,OK I'll make it simple, high as in happy,glad,satisfied........that kinds ,and not grass, weed and the works.Its quite a cocky state trust me i mean,you are blissfully ignorant of the following [mis]haps.Diwali,interesting time.........no seriously its so interesting i mean even though we talk bout"peace,love,harmony"and pray every ones happy and bright,no ones even a tad bit sad or down.So much of wishing and hoping and waiting.............waiting,cause when you wish and hope you have to wait,that's the whole idea you know,its like a chain reaction,if it all goes well you kinna give into it and you BELIEVE "it all happens".And if it doesn't you either take the "wishing harder" road or you just give up,but either way its a let down,Beautiful letdown........I always believe you should never make commitments or promises when you are too high,cause you are NOT going to stay in the same drugged state..........i mean HAPPY state.
You know its easy to be self deprecating,on festivals ESPECIALLY.I mean you just feel you are a relationship wrecker,even though you haven't er.........exactly done anything too bad.I AM NOT REALLY SIDING WITH MYSELF,but its true its something about the air,its all bright and pretty...............and it doesn't seem right if you've got an ugly sticky situation to deal with,its just not befitting(oh i so hate this word,its too cockney).And you know no matter how much i try to make it all straight and plain,i just keep up with issues..........like i put myself into something without even realizing,I MIGHT NEVER BE ABLE TO GET OUTTA IT.Its the perfect thing to ruin your day and in the hindsight also ruins a major chunk of your life,no seriously.........ITS A CHAIN REACTION(OK I'm quite bored with this expression).But really it all is this disease..........and i mean it,like a cold i have and my throat hurts so crying is not an option,and it shouldn't really be.......its no use,it just makes you get super exhausted its not even rewarding like some workout.I don't know but lifes funny you know,i mean sometimes you don't really do anything for someone but they go outta their way to thank you cause you apparently made them realise something SO big,ha,it actually is nothing.........something so basic and well obvious that its a wonder how they didn't see it coming.And i don't even know how many of those "OMG,you changed the way i think" speeches i can take,because basically i don't change them as a person,its just a momentary thing............THEY don't change.I really wish i could actually change the way they think but that's like wishful thinking.On the other hand when you actually try to teach them something,you end up getting hurt and you learn,DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN........HAHAHAHHAHHAHAH,no don't mess with the forces of nature,YOU REALLY CAN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE(i always thought i could,sigh )
Its tough being the man in a relationship,I don't mean the one who has a willie i mean the one who actually lives up to all the fancy jargon once uttered out with so much conviction,that is why i say don't promise when you can barely feel the earth beneath yer feet,you're gonna come down sometime babe!Its such a wonder something which doesn't go outta fashion,trend,talks,interest and mind is love.Its the common factor always...............someones outta it,or planning and someones starting with it and someones in the "you changed my life" period,AND I STILL BUY IT!Its something everyone cashes on,movies do that star crossed lovers............OH THEY DIG IT,and then music every goddamn song has it.It amazes me,how popular love is,makes me so jealous!yesterday i actually felt the world getting back at me,like it was waiting to explode for a long long time.................it was all so calm before,like very uncanny,the kinds which make you feel scared cause you know whats coming is loud,i felt it too.Its a big mess,and i have so much time to clean it,but its not exactly what i want cause I've to throw everything then,and i don't really wanna do that.
I also realised festivals are an excuse to make a fool of yourself,in the name of "festive spirit",i caught it too...........i did something i was embarrassed bout later in the morning,but maybe that was the last thing i could do to make me feel good about having something or probably hoping i still have it.HOPE,ah kills you............you have to wait,its for the brave hearted,who are ready to take the negative and still not go"I DON'T BELIEVE IN THIS THING NO MORE".Sometimes you have to give up things no matter how nice they look or how perfect they seem,cause if those things are of no help in crisis they are nothing but confetti........looks nice, but it cant make your dead dogs carcass pretty,can it??So you be the sensible person and give them up,OUCH!!!Hurts man...........its not that easy eh?!?!?But hey they say "the best things in life are hard to get!"...........i smell the irony,its too strong!

P.S.-sleepingover things wont help..............cause you'll wake up sometime and realise the kitchens flooded.......and the cat drank all the milk!