A Death Doesn't Always Kill.

Curbside Prophet's Note-I am old ,so old i have a beard now............AAAAAAAAAAA,YEAH YOU'D WISH!!!!Sorry folks its just a poem for now!!OK well as i have made it clear poems are only written when there is no logical conclusion to the pitiful condition around you.When you are overwhelmed,er...........when I am,rather.So here it is a poem,the fruit o frustration and yet its pretty,free flowing and HEY!!IT makes me happy awrite!well its not a sob story,its a poem which eulogises sadness,shows how sometimes being sad could make you do things(positive things)which happiness can never do.I use a bit of mockery for "happy people",quite loosely put,but its not going to make you wanna be sad than happy(AWRITE!!! THE MOCKERY STOPS HERE,I promise).On a more serious note,sometimes its not about the root of the pain,its about who comes along and saves you,helps you recover(could be anyone,for me the pizza guy).I compare sadness to death here,death for me is the apogee of both happiness and sadness.And "death"over here is not physical death,cause i believe its not the end of pain.I don't know how it feels when you are dying but I'm sure you cant explain or you are overwhelmed enough to write a poem about it;)!!!!!!!!

Its hard to know sometimes what you feel,
Its not a wound,but you still want it to heal,
The heaviness pulling you down,
Its better not to swim but to drown,
You close your eyes hoping to see,
An empty space,with just you and me,
Who you are,I am yet to know,
The one who can make it rain,the one who can make it snow.

The tragic life of a happy person makes me weep,
Because they never get to go too far,too deep,
The world of wonder is for the ones who cry,
And new starts are for the ones who die,
You look up and stare,like that could make it rain,
Your eyes do it for you,when yer foolish efforts are in vain.

A promise is a promise,a kiss is a kiss,
All fancy jargon makes sense when in a state of bliss,
Oh I could fight the winds,I could fight the sea,
But i cant fight the tempest inside me,
You need to come along,be whoever you want to be,
To save a life,to save me from me.......

psst-Hmmmm,the problems within you(read:not asthma)are the hardest to counter.Its you who start it but you always need someone else to make it right.Logic doesn't apply here,THIS world is bereft of all logic,this world is a sucker for comfort,for reverse psychology.......this world doesn't need a solution,it needs someone who can suffer the wrath with them.............WEIRD WORLD, I SAY!!!

I forgive but i don't forget......THE REDUNDANT THEORY!

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
du du du du du du du du du du.........(what aye start,well the songs nice and sweet and has many verses but i guess i just wanted to hear this one,sigh!)


Forgiving and forgetting,issue?!?!IT IS,isn't it?People say they forgive but don't forget,somehow it makes no sense how can you TRULY forgive someone and yet keep some o back as memoria ,that's not forgiving is it?Cause every time you stumble on that particular memory you do feel the pain,slight pain...........and pain means its still there,ALL OF IT!!!!So when do you ACTUALLY forgive,like in the true sense,when you just don't remember it at all.........like wiped out totally,dead towards it.Its a wonder how we move on like nothing happened,start a fresh chapter and hope to bury the "unfortunate" events deep enough so that they never resurface.The ghost of it still haunts you,probably when you see familiar faces or come across a similar situation or see happy people who never had to deal with "IT" or probably when you go through previous chats..........I HATE THIS FEATURE!I mean I have the stupid "power" to put myself in my position(a while back)and feel the same,THE SAME..........the way i felt THEN,and hate the same person with the same intensity!!!!Don't you see its not normal,I mean i am supposedly "over it"...............i have "moved on".........i have "conquered" my foolish heart...........I HAVE "FORGIVEN"........REALLY?!?!?!?!?HAVE I?!?!?!
Its not normal,i mean i don't hate them anymore...........I am ME with them,its all in the past,which is not something i should deal with,I DON'T NEED TO.Life is so much better now,life is great, the dark phase is over...........then why do i still feel bad for me.............me, THEN.I haven't quite gotten over that have i!?!?Its so lame and its like frozen in my memory,i cant stop myself from feeling the same.If, we in reality do not forget,in the true sense,then why do we brag about being magnanimous?Why does this term exist?Fake,fake, fake!!isn't it?And if you actually did forget the whole mumbo jumbo the very next day,then i say you never were sorry for it in the first place!People do feel sorry later,don't they?Hhahahhahahhah,funny isn't it "Oh I'm feeling so sorry i didn't feel sorry earlier!".And what about judgements,i mean you gotta make them sometime,so what should you consider,what should you believe.............consider this little chit-chat,
Dik-I don't think its worth it(I'm not sure,but I'm getting there,am i???)
Gina(with a j)-Fine,lets do this, would save us alota grief(WHA!??!WHA?!?!WHA?!?!DID I JUST SAY THAT,NOOOOOOOO!!!)
Dik-Really?!?! you think so?(Now I'm not happy!!!why?)
Gina-why don't you???(JUST SAY NO!!!)
Dik-no no,i still stand by it,lets do it the nice way(er.....i guess!)
Gina- yeah nice and FAST,I've got work(YEAH YOU LOSER,I HAVE TO CALL UP BY BEST PAL AND SOB AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!)
Dik-sigh,its pretty much over(PHEW!!!!OH WAIT!!!)
Gina-Yeah,nice talking(PUT A BULLET THROUGH YOUR HEAD!)
disconnects the line
Dik-OH!! wait i mean its over...no pretty much over.........er........hello?!?hello?!?!(FUCK!)

SO..............consider this,now by some miracle it all gets back into place,it all gets fine......back to where it should ave been,the pieces of the puzzle in the right pattern,couldn't get better............would you FORGET all of it...........ALL of it,I mean even if someone ties you up and rants about it?Now some o you will say how can that happen you are bound to recall stuff if people talk about it.But then my answer to them is,forgetting means totally wiping it off,killing it,being all dead towards it.And it totally works in the other scenario too,when you do something mean and real bad(that's how we put it!)HOW CAN YOU FORGIVE YOURSELF!!I did stuff to people and frankly yeah i am ashamed of it,THERE I SAID IT,I cant just forget it,so how would they,should they? could they?Its tricky and i don't really know what works or how it works! Hence we all actually never forget..........and not forgetting means you know exactly how it felt yer experience stays with you,OH it brings you down!!!And while some play it safe others make the same mistakes over and over again..........its a never ending process.........and its fascinating how you can love and hate the same object and yet find a way to live it.............IN PEACE!

psst-I'm your Agony Aunt today.If you're like me who keeps back little things cause they seem indispensable..........THROW IT,GO CLEAN YOU BOX,THROW THOSE LITTLE NOTES,RITE NOW!!!

Oh bummer?!?!Neh uh.......OBAMA!!!

sigh.......morning!ah lovely day,WEDNESDAY!I had a good sleep yesterday.........good as in i was in bed by 12 and i got up at 6:30a.m. so every ones happy......everything in place after a long time,every things normal,in place i guess........YAY!!!!Anyway,i realised i had been sleeping for TOO long cause i didn't even realise Alex Turner had a side project going on,which btw is a FULL FLEDGED band now--The Last Shadow Puppets.AND so today when i was surfing through the NME cool list 2008 i discovered the existence of it,OMFG!!!!HOW COULD I MISS IT,DAMN!!!!But something else made up for my sorrow.......Julian Casablancas IS NOT EVEN ON THE LIST(khee khee khee).OH THE JOY!!!!ahhahahhhahah,well not so much,I'm neutral.........I don't give aye damn.....or maybe i do..but I'm just happy!And they've got real good music(m not talk bout the boys who stroke themselves,HAHAHHAHHAHAH,they're nice too)nothing like the Arctic Monkeys,but for people who have heard them too much(like me)you might just feel they do sound like AM a bit,but thats just because Turner is the front man..........try not to compare too much and they will sound different,I PROMISE!
AND i also realised some people have real funny nicknames man,real funny ones........chikni,tim tim,KITTU,rim jhim..................HAHAHHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAH.And their actual names are like such a stark contrast to them,like real grim,serious ,NICE names.......with a meaning of course.Its like their parents wanted to make up for the seriousness of their actual names,or probably their life was so dull the only way they could get a kick outta it was by calling out for their kids......"rim jhim!!!!"ahhahhahhahahhahahah.Or well its some way to get back at them,you know how kids could be, maggot pies!!!.........but then that makes no sense cause kids are nice little things....puppies and kids,AWWWWWWWSOME!But really,WHY!?!??!Why do parents do this,i mean its a blunder,it could scar their future........i mean really, a guy you're going out with,with a nice name,ACTUALLY turns out to be "tinku"......damn..........I CANT KEEP A SERIOUS FACE THEN,HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAH.............see........imagine what will the poor ol hunk feel.Hehhehehheh,but WHAT ME WORRY......I've got a nice nickname........AND an equally nice name........But its got adverse effects too,no one gets it right in the first go.I still remember my name being printed all wrong on the Christmas Service sheets,in the Principals Report,on the music competition certificates...............IT WAS EXASPERATING!!!!!!People say "Whats in a name?",but hey it means quite a bit........OH TRUST ME........there are hunky names,pretty names,original names,common names,scary names,heavy names(the volume of the name,i bet you guessed that already)...........so its not like you can get away with a name like Dhananjay(HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHA,I just find it funny) without those initial raised eye brow expressions!!
So don't do this to your kids,unless kids are the source of all the remorse in the world,FOR YOU!!!But otherwise..........HELL AWAITS YOU,and there is nothing more pathetic and devastating than to rot in hell with heart breakers,nymphomaniacs,Ted Bundy and Metal posers(BLOODY SELL OUTS!)

Halloween went by,not a big deal in India but well Hiedi Klums dress up sure was,AND HEY HEY HEY!!!!!!!OBAMA'S IN THE HOUSE,WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!HOLLA SIZZLE,OBAMA MAH MAN'S THE NEW PREZ.I guess my anti-American feelings might just melt in to some orgasmic Jazz,yeah.And well life which was a Cradle of Filth( Dani Filth doesn't really make my day!!!!)is Jazz right now..........i feel old and satisfied,55 and lived a life.........see now that's a place i wanna be in,sigh!In all I'm alive and m not really cribbing too much..........plus,WINTERS ARE HERE.AH,winters in my city are the best...........the spookiest places are actually the mushiest of the lot,ah I'm so happy winters are here,winters are like a sign that its all over,good or bad that's for you too deal with.I've had beautiful sad winters,OH winter nights could be SAD.............but theres this pretty thing about them you cant get over,the weather and the streets get all deserted,the mist and in the dark the huge trees seem even bigger it almost seems like they own the sidewalks,the bad lighting on the streets,which seemed like a nuisance,just seems to add on to the whole backdrop,and the moon.........oh i would swoon if someone even mentioned Jazz right now.......WINTERS WINTERS WINTERS!!!!And then Christmas...........carols, the singing and the celebrations,MY FAVOURITE TIME!!!!!Sigh,i hope i have a winter death...............i wanna live the winter and then go..........BUT WHOSE DYING !!!!ITS TIME TO KILL,nah,i forgive all those motherlickers who have pissed me off lately in ANYWAY,you guys are not worth it,I hope you all die a natural death,i don't wanna rush anything ;)

PSST-na n now that tha don't kill me,can only make me stronger...i need you to hurry up now.......cause i cant wait much longer......ISNT IT PLAYIN!?!??!

Festive H[Bl]ues!!pff

OK,someone once said"When you are high,the only place you are going next is down!".Well yeah that was me and i guess i wasn't too sure how right i was,I mean bang bang on correct.HIGH!!Oh i was and you know when you are all high,OK I'll make it simple, high as in happy,glad,satisfied........that kinds ,and not grass, weed and the works.Its quite a cocky state trust me i mean,you are blissfully ignorant of the following [mis]haps.Diwali,interesting time.........no seriously its so interesting i mean even though we talk bout"peace,love,harmony"and pray every ones happy and bright,no ones even a tad bit sad or down.So much of wishing and hoping and waiting.............waiting,cause when you wish and hope you have to wait,that's the whole idea you know,its like a chain reaction,if it all goes well you kinna give into it and you BELIEVE "it all happens".And if it doesn't you either take the "wishing harder" road or you just give up,but either way its a let down,Beautiful letdown........I always believe you should never make commitments or promises when you are too high,cause you are NOT going to stay in the same drugged state..........i mean HAPPY state.
You know its easy to be self deprecating,on festivals ESPECIALLY.I mean you just feel you are a relationship wrecker,even though you haven't er.........exactly done anything too bad.I AM NOT REALLY SIDING WITH MYSELF,but its true its something about the air,its all bright and pretty...............and it doesn't seem right if you've got an ugly sticky situation to deal with,its just not befitting(oh i so hate this word,its too cockney).And you know no matter how much i try to make it all straight and plain,i just keep up with issues..........like i put myself into something without even realizing,I MIGHT NEVER BE ABLE TO GET OUTTA IT.Its the perfect thing to ruin your day and in the hindsight also ruins a major chunk of your life,no seriously.........ITS A CHAIN REACTION(OK I'm quite bored with this expression).But really it all is this disease..........and i mean it,like a cold i have and my throat hurts so crying is not an option,and it shouldn't really be.......its no use,it just makes you get super exhausted its not even rewarding like some workout.I don't know but lifes funny you know,i mean sometimes you don't really do anything for someone but they go outta their way to thank you cause you apparently made them realise something SO big,ha,it actually is nothing.........something so basic and well obvious that its a wonder how they didn't see it coming.And i don't even know how many of those "OMG,you changed the way i think" speeches i can take,because basically i don't change them as a person,its just a momentary thing............THEY don't change.I really wish i could actually change the way they think but that's like wishful thinking.On the other hand when you actually try to teach them something,you end up getting hurt and you learn,DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN........HAHAHAHHAHHAHAH,no don't mess with the forces of nature,YOU REALLY CAN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE(i always thought i could,sigh )
Its tough being the man in a relationship,I don't mean the one who has a willie i mean the one who actually lives up to all the fancy jargon once uttered out with so much conviction,that is why i say don't promise when you can barely feel the earth beneath yer feet,you're gonna come down sometime babe!Its such a wonder something which doesn't go outta fashion,trend,talks,interest and mind is love.Its the common factor always...............someones outta it,or planning and someones starting with it and someones in the "you changed my life" period,AND I STILL BUY IT!Its something everyone cashes on,movies do that star crossed lovers............OH THEY DIG IT,and then music every goddamn song has it.It amazes me,how popular love is,makes me so jealous!yesterday i actually felt the world getting back at me,like it was waiting to explode for a long long time.................it was all so calm before,like very uncanny,the kinds which make you feel scared cause you know whats coming is loud,i felt it too.Its a big mess,and i have so much time to clean it,but its not exactly what i want cause I've to throw everything then,and i don't really wanna do that.
I also realised festivals are an excuse to make a fool of yourself,in the name of "festive spirit",i caught it too...........i did something i was embarrassed bout later in the morning,but maybe that was the last thing i could do to make me feel good about having something or probably hoping i still have it.HOPE,ah kills you............you have to wait,its for the brave hearted,who are ready to take the negative and still not go"I DON'T BELIEVE IN THIS THING NO MORE".Sometimes you have to give up things no matter how nice they look or how perfect they seem,cause if those things are of no help in crisis they are nothing but confetti........looks nice, but it cant make your dead dogs carcass pretty,can it??So you be the sensible person and give them up,OUCH!!!Hurts man...........its not that easy eh?!?!?But hey they say "the best things in life are hard to get!"...........i smell the irony,its too strong!

P.S.-sleepingover things wont help..............cause you'll wake up sometime and realise the kitchens flooded.......and the cat drank all the milk!

Grow Up!!!How much?!?!

OKAY!!!!you know that's like the biggest issue,we deal with it everyday,don't we.........i mean lets get down and dirty,shall we?!?!Straight to the bloody deal huh!?!?No intros,no ice breakers,beating around the bush and no Blogger-friendly starts!!!How grown up are you,ARE WE?Exactly,what this bbbbbbloody term means i have yet to find out.They say "Grow-up"but never specify how much,what in the mighty hell would prove it,prove that WE'RE GROWN UPS!!!What kinna behaviour,antics would make us qualified enough to be considered "smart and mature" .MATURITY!!!oh yes the other favourite, puberty ain't enough man,it needs MUCH MORE than just that,what?? you ask........Do you think i have the wise answer,nope wrong person,sorry to disappoint you!!!
Cause well apparently i am living among fools ,fools who think they have "grown up".I mean seriously,what makes you think YOU are a grown up???Just cause you get Jazz,you can solve the trickiest fights in a jiffy,Hitchcock's movies make sense to you,your mom's stop whacking you and well you and your brother/sister don't fight like two bush babies...DOESN'T mean you are by any standards "grown up",because your "immature moment" will come,OH IT BLOODY WILL!Trust me,and all your dreams and whims of "AH I'm SO fly,so mature" will come crashing down.When we say we have grown up,we're so over THAT immature phase what exactly do we mean?Especially in relationships,i mean does that mean you don't think of pick up lines or corny stuff to make the other person feel nice.Does it mean you don't think of how you would wanna make out or plan how you would pick up a fight?YOU STILL DO THAT!!!!!so what makes you think you have reached that stage when people wont even dare to call you a"kid".I don't know where i stand and you know what I REALLY AM NOT BOTHERED.It eludes me,always.People say they have grown up,and then they do the most unreasonable of things,so where does it leave the others.........it leaves them looking like a fool,a fool who fell for the very elaborate declaration of "I have grown up!".
I think its the biggest mistake we make,when we try to keep track of how much we have grown up, to suit our age.Its not like measuring height people,its the metamorphosis of a whole persona,how can you give a verdict with such finality??Its easy said,talking about kids or mortgage or marriage doesn't make one mature.Making a few right choices(by our own stupid standards btw)avoiding a few mud-slinging situations,moving on the past(khee khee khee,you are still trying aren't you?!?!?) sorry to say......er.........is not IT!yer just in process man, no ones all mature,theres always room for immaturity and wild thoughts,so telling it to yourself everyday or telling other, just to make yourself believe the obvious lie....WON'T HELP!!I don't know when we're THERE,i don't even know if we ever will get THERE.I think its all about the the hard- to- achieve worldly standards we set not for ourselves but for others and how we get influenced to fulfill the ones set by others.Me?!?!Oh well i don't think I'm there,I don't get too many glares for my silly ways so i guess i am fine to be around,but really i am not mature,NOT enough cause i still plan how mean i need to be and with whom,for how many hours will my cell be off,how do i ignore certain people or did i win the last fight i had,if not how could i win the next one...........ahhahhahah,sigh i do I DO I DO!!!!!!I'm not ashamed of myself,but its a disappointment when people make completely "immature" assumption about their own "maturity"....its sad, plain sad.So lets stop keeping a check and let time and situations decide HOW MUCH we have grown up,cause frankly speaking i really haven't met a grown up till date!!!!!

P.S-YOU MONKEYS!!!!!!!I hate everyone.....count yourself in.........just leave your name and well a comment to go with it!

Should, i know what i wanna?

hmmmmmmm,no this isn't one of those night time thoughts which creep up cause you have all the time in the world to fan those stupid thoughts!!!But this is one of those thoughts which pass my mind from time to time,like SSSSSSSSSSWWWWWWWWISH............yeah and the second time they enter my brain shack its slower,cause i start taking them seriously.OK,Question:Should you know MORE then you are suppose to?I mean could it be any good or is it only a way to mess up your already messed up thoughts?I mean there is always a line right between curiosity and well DANGEROUS curiosity.Dangerous well cause on the other side of it,which is the fulfillment of it er......things get pretty ugly......FOR YOU!Yeah i almost pointed a finger there,hahhahahha!Anyway,yeah so we were talking about curiosity,ah i have oodles of it and i hide it.......hahahha..its almost like me having my"coming out" moments right now HAHAHHAHHAHHAHAH,only that m straight.......yeah well!
I don't know you know,sometimes i feel i have a right when i just need to know,but well then i get all.......ah man i cant deal with my own life why should i go about snooping into someones shitty underpants,hehehheheh.................ah THE FILTH!!!sigh,seriously when do you know yer trespassing on someones personal space?I mean I've never had any issues but i just wonder,IF.............IF(I said "IF")I let go........how ugly could it be?AND its not something i associate with one person,I'm talking about everyone i know of........i mean when you come down to "I fucking wanna know" its not too nice,the sound of it..............right?you know i always felt if someone wants you to know something they will come and tell you all by themselves,but well WHAT DID I KNOW,they're all a bunch of attention seekers,AND I COUNT MYSELF IN TOO!!!You always need a bit of "temme please,come on,its me,you could tell me!"
DAMN!!!You know when do i feel guilty,i feel guilty when i know a bit more than what the person thinks i know........i feel i spoil it for myself,I lose from both sides,HOW?I'll tell you,see if the person tells me.....i feel sad cause well i know it already or well cause its a sad thing to know like a confession.........i feel sad cause i already saw it coming and i COULDN'T do anything,helpless!and well the other side..........if the person doesn't tell me I'm sad again,cause i was deprived of it.......OH THAT HURTS!
Sometimes i feel i have too many secrets,and sorting them out becomes an issue.It not fun you know too have too many of them cause then you've to play safe,not let out...........its like you're in soundproof room and you cant really do anything.......you gotta break down those walls,to let out,TO GET OUT!And my biggest secret is well,that I AM CURIOUS.........i wanna know,i wanna know why things happen and why they don't............but well keeping that relatively cool, composed "i don't really wanna know" gimmick doesn't really let me,SAD!!!!Gimmicks,oh come on all o you play them everyday........so well don't sympathize with me,no ones any good.And you know what its a two way road,if one doesn't be so stuck up the other wont reciprocate the same way,so we're all at fault somewhere............and well i don't even feel better blaming it on the others,I know i do it somewhere too!I think we spoil it for ourselves and then we go about looking for someone else to clean the mess.......AH WHAT LOSERS!WHAT BABYS!And well this bears testimony.........I can see it coming..........I SO can.........sigh.......and i cant do anything about it.........MAN I WANT A CHANGE O PLANS!!!!!!!

ps-Plans.........eh........like i have any major ones.........no i do i think...........and all i can think of is a dialogue-"One woman,one zipka one life".........hahahhahhahhaha,AND checkout this flick "little black diaries",I felt DISCOVERED, man!!!

Its all good,FOLKS!!

Sigh,being practical is it easy for you people?like doing things acceptable by the worldly standards?i mean don't you give into temptation of doing something you like and ONLY like,something which makes you feel like jumping into it without even giving it a thought or second thought??!?!I mean i can't say "I've been doing some thinking" cause i do it alot these days............er.......and always!!!I mean don't know myself all that well and it seems like i always need someone to help me know ME!You get it?I don't know if i do,cause its like waking up every morning with a plan,and deciding to follow it with all your heart,feeling you know yourself.And then someone comes and makes you feel so good, even without having a plan you can be all good in control of yourself and your life!And we think its all us,we,me,I..........just to realize later that it never was you.........it was him......AND only him.Someone else who made you feel you could stand up on your two feet,breathe free,love the wrongs you did and that theres always a way to make it turn around.
I've never been too practical,seriously....NEVER,and its all good.....it all works out for me.I get wise with time and i get wise when i have someone with me,anyone......i always do.Someone always comes my way and makes it worth living,makes me feel its all good and that the ones who live the practical way are missing out on something,HA!Isn't being practical the safer way to live?Don't do this its so stupid wont be any good!Don't do that its too unconventional and too lame wont happen!I mean isn't that being a wimp,just doing something which works,isn't that like serving your scared ego,which is scared to fall...........cause your just too bloody good to lose?!?I've ruined many a things being what I'm not,being practical and OH SO PRAGMATIC!!!
i cant manage all that,that's not me,cause then probably my whole life would be a fantasy!!
Probably then i wouldn't have fallen in love,cause seriously that's the BIGGEST mistake you would love to do!!Hey loving yourself takes a backseat once in a while AND that's not a rosy picture my friend!!I mean i wont say i was practical...........but i guess i always was scared you know,to commit.Not commitment phobic,sheesh that's like some Sexually transmitted disease people are proud of!I mean i was good having fun.........single life isn't the best thing if you always wanted someone....but if you have no plans..........OH ITS ORGASMIC!!!!Trust me,messing around with some,the chase.........and then you do something stupid,you laugh about later,AH DAMN,kills me!!!!!But then if you have no plans,love might be the creepiest thing ever,really..........someone being all nice to you for no sexual,mental,financial,social gains.........er doesn't fit in,does it?its like something which grows on to you like a bad-nice-looking fungi,and they say things which grow on to you,are the best things hehehh!!Its not like i was a cold heartless bitch(er....bt i do play that gimmick)and love changed me,OH NO NO,you're taking this thing too seriously,ahhahhahah.I always took love seriously,seriously enough that i thought i would never fall in it till i'm 25 or 24,cause 17/18 doesn't really seem that sorta age to do SERIOUS stuff,hahahhahah...........DAMN ,WHAT A KID!!!!WE are really shallow at this age,very straight about what we want,very stubborn about things,nothing will change our mind,NOTHING AT ALL.And why should it,we've got all we want "a life,people thinking I'm cool,good clothes,I've slept with a hot chick,I know what snow blowing is,OH MAN I'M GOD!!".Shit you call that grown up,ha,!No wonders we're still called juvenile by people,we're not really adults even when we're 18,the constitution was written when a whole different race of men lived,so don't take it too seriously!!!sigh,i love being 18 i liked 17 better though,but its good.........I'm just gearing up i guess for the big stuff ahead, right?I dream alot,and they always come true...weird ain't it?!?!doesn't fit into your practical set up.........hahahah.......cause for you life's always "a cold hard,struggle up hill!!",hahahhahhahhahhahhahhahha.Get a grip,its your life and Hitlers dead........lets just live it......and love it........and make it good,SHALL WE?

P.S.-I love you.............and I'm not talking to Dave Matthews here.........:P

Whats new???HELL LOT!!!!

Hello!!!I'm back.......ah feels good to be typing that fast like you know,like some finger warm up,losing those unwanted finger calories then looking up and reading what i just wrote.....I'M BLOGGING!!!AGAIN!!!ah its been a WHOLE MONTH,EVEN MORE.Sheesh!!what was i thinking,that i can SO do without this blog!!!!HOW VERY STUPIDLY ARROGANT OF ME!!!I cant to without this thing........ALL APOLOGIZES!!but hey i bet alot has changed in yer lives,even you.Me,i don't know how much I've changed,i still love the color green,I'm still sarky,I still sleep late.......and think of the same things.BUT,alots been going on and when i say that i mean it........i have amazing rapports with people i didn't even think i would ever wanna know,no not in the bad sense,as in when you're going on you think you don't need anyone,what good can he/she be.But then you realize,DAMN!!!This is so cool!!!where were they all this while?
Honestly,on the emotional front it seems I'm always surprised,like how could i react this way?I mean its a new day for me,and i realize i don't know myself all that well.I really don't!!!And its not the best feeling sometimes,cause you're lost and confused and you think and Re-think and have thoughts then of course second thoughts........AAAAAAAAAAA,what a mess!!!!
You know that feeling when you get something you always wanted ?i don't know, i really reacted in the complete opposite way,of what i thought.I just didn't know what to do with it,NOW THAT I HAVE IT.AND then comes in the part played by those "sweet things".........they're there to sort it out for me.I don't really know why people like me ,no seriously i don't mean to sound modest or anything.But i wonder,its not really an easy thing to like someone,not for me,but then i don't really hate anyone either.I really wonder why?And i get various answers,nice to the ear, pleasing to the eye............I CANT HEAR ON GTALK NOW CAN I!!!anyway,I've come a long way,and alot o people will agree with me,I've seen bad luck,heartache,boredom,cat aids................AHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAH ,STELLAR!!!but seriously,that's what life is a circle 360 degrees,comes back as ugly or pretty you left it.........pretty in my case,neh i guess its too soon to say how pretty or ugly, but I'm hanging on.I'm still JUST a girl,i mite be oxygen to some the god of this blog but i cant do much,sigh!I wonder alot,and i feel stupid ,cause its not like the others do the same right?EGO HASSLES!!!oh god i cant seem to get over them,quite like the guy i couldn't get over.BUT i have to learn,I SO HAVE TO.You know it doesn't really feel nice when you know something horrible is gonna happen and you still cant do anything about it,the hopeless situation.
HOW TO SPOIL A RELATIONSHIP!!I have to learn that,cause it seems i could be the master of it,sigh.I mean I'm ready to be practical,but I'm NOT naturally pragmatic.I'm a little confused you know,cause i usually end up thinking about where do i stand,in life ,in a relationship............ANY RELATIONSHIP.Sometimes when you want someone to be there,they aren't,..........but someone else is,so what should i do,who should i value more........sigh quite a pickle to be in!!I've hated comparisons,i still do i always will!and i hate to say this but they make me feel down real down.Love,another thing which drives me crazy..........and the only thing which makes me go all "I DON'T KNOW,LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"I totally hate people who go all"i don't know!"that's like such a bummer man.....WHO ELSE WOULD???I'm a little scared,liking someone THAT much,its quite a risk,cause you either you fall terribly in love with yourself or you forget to love yourself!!And I've never really loved anyone all that much....besides myself.......NEVER.No, mum dad friends Paul Walker Dave Matthews.........there different cases.But this is different.You know its like this investment,LOVE IS,trust me,you put in your time,money,feelings ,emotions(THIS IS THE BIGGEST RISK,PHEW!!!) so its got to be good,durable, long,how long,i don't know I'm not an expert.But yeah its quite an investment,so you gotta be sure,OK i sound stupid but you have to ,i mean trust me I'm not really the nicest person to be around,OK YOU ALL TRUST ME THEN!I'm still new in the land of unconditional,selfless love....AND ALL THAT MUMBO JUMBO!!but I've never shied away from anything that's come my way,so I'm not a wimp...................but i don't talk too much about it.......i mean i do but not too much,saving it for a rainy day!!!!!I'm kinna the one time thing person,i could be shallow but I'm not shallow as a person,i know it,cause i wont be thinking so much,typing all this...........and now i realise i always end up standing where I left ............I WONDER............I STILL DO.............

psst-LeRoi Moore,the dmb saxophonist died on 19th afternoon........ah god.........its horrible man,RIP.

psst-and whoever has been viewing my blog..........I LOVE YOU.........i mean this is called selfless love,so this post is to whoever they are,wish you a flavoured luck.........RAD!!!!

psst-i've been listening to Romeo and Juliet,again........i dont know its like i never heard it this way.......and i love it...........and i'm confused cause i dont really know the exact meaning of it.AND yeah IAMX........saaaaaaaxy!!!

i still blog here

ITS RAINING,and i love this earth,lets save it.....sigh......OK the worldly custom....HEY........so now i can do this,it feels new being here,ITS BEEN A WHILE since the last post.......and something dawned on me while i was having tea which tasted like some aliens piss,its was horrible,no that's not the point,the point is i just realised being happy is almost a compulsion.NO real think about it i mean,you do everything to be happy.......its like life isn't normal without"happiness".we have no regards for any emotion but happiness.You go through pain,just because you hope to find happiness ultimately.You actually do everything for it,its almost like a food web........or like the family tree ,only upside down.you know its amazing how we don't think about stupid things,we should....they could make your day.Like how two strangers come together,I DON'T MEAN JUST LOVERS,anyone.I sound like those drags right now who go like "isn't the human body such a mystery"...........but hey its quite true,I mean its all A trivial chemical reaction,but in the worldly sense its huge"LOVE,HATRED,AGONY"...i mean it lead to epics and tragedies...........like the butterfly effect..........yeah i love this term........sometimes i feel like a careless blogger,you know i don't feel any responsibility towards my readers,WHOA I'm no star blogger but then i know of people who don't blog cause they think "its not really worth a good read,what i have in mind",and mind it,it could take them months to come up with something good,BY THEIR STANDARDS.No they aren't wimps,they in fact are so serious about a level they've set for themselves,its like felony or something.I don't even think about what I'm gonna write here.........i mean its like i wanna make my fingers worklose those extra calories,or use it as an alibi for not helping my bro with his projects,but then its a constructive lie,i don't think such a thing exists.I feel tired,i mean don't you? sometimes you get tired of doing nothing?or thinking of the same thing.....my brains all bored no inspiration. i meet alot of people everyday,but zilch,nothing no excitement..................FUCK FUCK TIME..........i mean in my brain.

I saw Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na,predictable love story,with loads of songs,nice ones...............and the typical airport climax,i mean i loved it,but i don't expect a guy to run to a girl, break all rules...........i mean i don't know such guy,do you?Do call me if yer one o them......no no i don't wanna date you just wanna interview you,ask you "WHERE DID YOUR BALLS GO TODAY?"............you need balls for that,i mean DAIYYAM!And then my friend sitting next to me went all "I wish i had such a boi,in my life!".........ah god when will girls stop wishing for supermen and "nice guys"...........no I'm one o them too...and i hate myself for wishing that............i mean to think of it world peace can take a hike when you're talking to a heartbroken chick...............its no use....peace in the world has no meaning if she's not at peace with her world........and I'm not so proud to be her....but i cant help it ............and hey i don't piss anyone off,so I'm good.And time flew by...........its 10:19........and i wonder how someone can put his ego aside.................and be nice even though others were rude...........i mean I'm so jealous of that........i have a beeeeeg ego.And its not an asset........HOW HOW HOW????.The past month sucked, i saw Tashan 7 times.........YEAH I WAS SO DESPERATE FOR SOME ACTION,OK no ,i don't mean to sound how i did..but yeah........Soul Plane is kinky.........REAL REAL KINKY.And sometimes yer cousins can turn into sluts...yeah its like a revolution and the youngest of kids can have the biggest of brains.And no matter what you do it takes time to let it go,you just cant rush......you cant rush time and wasting it is a taboo..........TIME wins.........its like don't mess with it,take it seriously.........nice note to end on,and i will go on to a lil hiatus again....WORK..........sigh.

psst-IT crowd's on T.V......ah man eets not all that bad,this life!

The Story I'm In...

Curbside Prophet's Note-ah OK................i was not exactly blank,a little outta touch with, me....its nice coming back TO THIS LITTLE HUMBLE PLACE,called My Blog.so this thing right here is a piece(I'm still very much confused what makes a good song,so piece is all i can call it as of now)is very special to me .i wrote it ages back....so i cant really remember what exactly went on in my brain-shack..........hehehhe............THEN.But i love it.........EETS GOOOOOD TO BE BACK,SMACK THOSE NUTS!

The crazy days,

I'm still dancing in the blue haze,

The nothingness,the laze,

The passing clouds they're just a phase,

I'm scratching my head but I've learnt the worldly ways,

I still yearn for that warm touch and that undivided gaze,

But i wont settle for what my heart says,

Chorus

Its still beautiful where i look,

Another leaf in the same old book,

But this is a nice story to tell,

How she smiled coming back from hell,

Scorched ,but she loved the sin,

Its a nice story ,the story I'm in

The greens have been greener than before,

The greys don't wanna be grey anymore,

Black is so bright,it killed the folklore,

But red still bleeds from ever pore,

When sadness took to remorse and gore,

The world couldn't take it and ended the war,

Hope crept in from the window,when i closed the door,

The sea raged but i reached the shore.

psst-AH............SIGH........AH FUCKETY SHEEETS........now i yam blank........i'm quite bored nowadays.......do comment.....or pick up a fight with me or call me.........AH YEAH COMMENT.......oh i mentioned it........and yeah i'm still not distracted........jdxhchqeheixnh.......k i'm back, spread the word

Passing thoughts,the coulds..........which come back!

HALLO!!!!!
ah OK you smell "hyper"..........yes i yam a little high.....ah OK been low,so now i yam high .life's not all that hazy,clearer,not the best view but hey its pretty............BANG BANG BANG!!!!PUN INTENDED!
sigh...........no this ain't the sad sigh its like the "sigh,the piss is gone,BLISS COMES HERE".......yeah I'm not EXCITED,cause being satisfied is more important I've realized satisfaction stays,excitement goes,catches the early train to the "Down Town".So I'm satisfied......its gonna stay,excited people are easy to bring down ,those wings are weak,cut them off and there goes the bird,hehehhe.........the air smells different,or maybe i feel different,its more welcoming,Thank you to everybody who was there,wont name them........i know who they are,BANG BANG BANG..........the feeling i lost found me again,the feeling of being good to me........to well make me self happy,sorry.........ME..........but we're doing good,we're back in business,we're socialising and loving it..........I'm tired but i like this feeling,i will sleep well,early,like all of you guys do...like satisfied people do.......BANG BANG BANG.........damn i love doing it!
The weather is good,the sun was pissed again,its kinna yellow and miffed,pink would make it good,heheh.......neh I'm not going back from where i came,it was good,but i love missing it........i do have wild thoughts,i go crazy, lose it,think weird stuff.........but then thinking is OK,just passing thoughts.............sometimes they die sometimes they take a U-turn,pass again........its OK I'm 18 I can manage,i learnt my life's major lessons being 17,so 18 is OK........BRING IT ON.........
Hope,its still there lingering,waiting to take over,I still wonder alot,where could it be...........will i crash into it,but hey its all a passing thought they don't play fuck-fuck in my mind anymore.......hehehh.............they just pay a visit,I just acknowledge them.......and they go.......Wishes,do they reach the right address,I always send them..........i hope they do......some did.........WILD ones..........ah wild is always eye-catching hehehheh..........I wished I always do.........i always will.so well I'm living my life like i said,ALWAYS ON MY AGENDA...........plans,neh........they never work for me,rain check?!?!Ah nope none,I'm good,its too much of rethinking,AND I DON'T ADVICE THAT,just think, works,good,doesn't,cry and live it............there is no way out,you have to live it,love it when the evening looks bright and live it even when its a pitch dark night,AH DAMN,whoa,I'm in the mood,just a thought...PASSING THOUGHT,hehheheheh..............music,its always playing it never stops,i just started hearing it again,and i realised it was always there i was probably deaf for a while.....it was sweet then sweet now.........I guess I just felt bitter,BUT I'M GOOD,BANG BANG BANG...........livin it,diggin it!

psst-Look around,you might just spot me,I'm the one with that smile.........yeah its kinna back :)))!

She's green,clean..........she's 18!

I'm 18,so?i can watch porn,so?i never cared bout rules when i was 17 so,porn is past and stupid and smutty........i feel numb no adulthood blues are yet to set in,i still feel the teen GREEN pressure.AND yes i have to smile......so :)))).........OK that does it.Gifts,nep not yet........what do i want........AH.......no I'm not supposed to want it.........one BIG GINORMOUS THANKS TO "buddy boi"..........a.k.a. "kinky boi".....thanks pal,yer a nice old fella.what have i learnt after 18 long happy,bright years...........i made wrong decisions,but i set them wright later.........i made wrong judgements,but we're good,OH WE ARE!I got love and then it went,BUT hope came in,and I'm good.I am witty i realized,never tried to be funny just happened like an untimely pregnancy,hehehhehe.I made friends,some of them are close.............some are there i still see them and they will be there.I got respect from younger gits,felt good.I was praised i worked for it,and it felt fair.I broke hearts,I'M SORRY.I got compliments,i was left speechless,i was criticized .......i was raging inside but then it made a life!I learnt i cant move on easily,but i can try and i'm good at that.......I look back alot.........lived a life.....I guess all i could manage,I mean most people just die trying,I had my 1st crush,1st love,Best friends,secret soceities,FUN,mortifying moments............I have a blog....and today i will thank everybody i can think of,any and everyone , here goes-no particular order,Mum.......YER THE WOMAN!Dad,salaami,akshay,the lil git,vikram b,ass-tralian,massis........YER THE BOMBS,rishab,my 1st guy pal,where ever you are JAH BLESS,shreya,best pal.......FITCH,himani......damn yer always there,dishi.....yer oxygen,sneha....sorry...but i'll get to you,mridi.....i can never hate you for long,dolly,i miss the old you,saloni,you werent there for long but i'll always remember you,apoorva....yer just awefuckinsome.ANT.......prettiest boi EVER......loads to say,so just thanks.SG,my first crush.......and best boi pal!bastab....you were kinna cool.dani.....damn man where are you?yogi.....yer good.anupama thanks for the comment.RAHUL.........uuummm yer great and kinky...CANT THANK YOU ENUFF.Nanny......man yer hot.you started it all.........Punkd bitch....thanks ya.ridhi di...fave sis.akul b.........damn we never fought ya.rohit b........yer a sick lover.gautam b.....sahi ho bhai.kartik....heeheh........yer so real,thanx.shipra.......damn yer still my first BEST pal...heheh.TRASH.....yer more than just that,trust me!ranjan......i dont know...thanx for the wish and well ting ting,lol.MUSIC........you lived my life with me......and yer still playing!I just want wishes,they are bloody important.........and i wish i got that one wish........sigh.........i wont weep..........coz I'M THE BIRTHDAY GIRL,THEY DON'T CRY...........and my BLOG,my life........sigh...........WHOA WHOA WHOA................thanx everybody.............i've ever known...sluts, hoes,dogs,fakers,LIVE IT UP...........SCREAM...BREAK GLASS...KILL BUGS HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!i love you,sigh ,said it..........oh that was ME to ME.........she's nice,i like her.............and thats my fave pic,so the others dont get offended.....I LOVE YOU..........ALL..........its my day so my fave pic.I thanked everybody coz well i hope my wishes reach whoever isnt here.........or wont wish me,i know who it is........sigh....I'M HAPPY ,PEOPLE.............and today i will listen to every song which made me feel blue and weird,sway,eve,the apple of my eye,everything.......I HAVE THE BALLS TO!OK that was stupid............I'LL live my life cause i'll be dead sometime not too soon,but i will so i shall live it the best way possible............ZATS ALL FOLKS.............but this aint the last of me you've seen here........i own this thing!

:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I Guess

Curbside Prophet's Note-AH,OK this one right here,is the product of a series of questions i asked myself,well sometimes you just question yourself cause answers and getting them is a tough thing to do.The piece(i guess its more like a song) below is a little sarcastic,not forced sarcasm just came out like that.There is one person who can answer them all but then who knows where that person is.Maybe I do know,I guess.......

The lemon made it bitter,i guess
The wind made the mess,I guess
The sun burnt me ,I guess
It wasn't you
The days grew shorter,I guess
The nights grew brighter,I guess
The moon went home so soon,I guess
That I lost you

CHORUS
"It wasn't me" you said
You just smiled and went to bed
I doubt,but i guess I'm still not dead
If I still spin in your head
You know,its true

The last word wasnt goodbye,I guess
The earth let out a sigh,I guess
The rain made me cry,I guess
It wasn't you
The music was loud,I guess
The love hid behind a cloud,I guess
What was weak was the vow,I guess
That I lost you

CHORUS
"It wasn't me" you said
You just smiled and went to bed
I doubt,but i guess I'm still not dead
If I still spin in your head
You know,its true


I wrote you a song,I know
The pain isn't so sweet,I know
There are broken pieces around,I know
Don't you?
My heart won't change its mind,I know
The world is still slow,I know
Its lost its glow,I know
Don't you?

CHORUS
"It wasn't me" you said
You just smiled and went to bed
I doubt,but i guess I'm still not dead
If I still spin in your head
You know,its true


psst-I dont know what sucks,but questions do.......they play fuck-fuck in my brain........monkey crap!

Its a stupid Game

Curbside Prophet's note-Well,sometimes you don't write about what you're feeling at the moment,instead something completely opposite cause then probably you know how its all seems from a distance.I'm not in love not even close.....not even a crush.........NOTHING,ZILCH........BUT i still write a song(i guess)about someone in love.........sigh..........its was fun writing it during my English lesson,when the worst female ever born on planet earth was sucking life outta fellow classmates,I found something human enough to write about,SO IT SAVED A LIFE.

When you want something so bad,
More than anything you ever had,
Its the blush on my face which gives it away,
When you know everything I don't wanna say,
I'm the biggest fool i could ever be,
I love you so hopelessly can't you see?
Sometimes I'm scared what if you really know,
That i love you,I love you so.

CHORUS
But till then its gonna be the same,
You're gonna be a loon and I'll be lame,
Its blow by blow in this stupid game,
Someone lost every time it came,
I lost already,I've put myself to shame,
But its you,you're to be blamed.

Its creepy how you read my mind,
The reason and the feeling behind,
I hate you,I hate you for this,
But you cheer me up and I'm in this weird state of bliss,
You make me giggle,don't make me cry,
Don't envy the other guys its all a lie,

But till then its gonna be the same,
You're gonna be a loon and I'll be lame,
Its blow by blow in this stupid game,
Someone lost every time it came,
I lost already,I've put myself to shame,
But its you,you're to be blamed.

I don't know if I have you,
But i don't wanna lose you,
You kill me but i don't wanna shoot you,
You're right here,but i wanna be close to you,
Its more like a dream,but it seems true to you,
I'll never say it but yeah i wanna be in love with you.

But till then its gonna be the same,
You're gonna be a loon and I'll be lame,
Its blow by blow in this stupid game,
Someone lost every time it came,
I lost already,I've put myself to shame,
But its you,you're to be blamed.

psst-HOW COULD I WRITE THIS,there is not even a bone of mush in me.........DAMN FUCKETY ME!

HA,and they said "thats life!"

Its late,sometimes its too late...............uuummm i don't really know what i intend to say.But then i never do cause if i did i wouldn't be lying to myself.sigh,last few days,tough yes........a new person came outta me and well felt outta place,in new shoes.............not a good fit....but you gotta wear them now don't you?A heavy heart,a passing thought,a sinking feeling,sleep but not a sound one,new faces but not all that endearing.This guy i know,a friend i consider him, yes,no prenups heheheheh,so well he was sad,kinna blue.........OK really sad..........I don't know but well i did forget my life long regret and felt his heart,I really thought he deserves better...........maybe a fair chance, a successful story.I never get to hear a "happy ending"............like that line goes "Happy endings, they still don't bore me ,But they, they have a way ,They have a way to make you pay".I'm not sad,just a little angry not cause life is "unfair"............well there is nothing like a fair life,some rich bastard came up with that term probably,whose candy was snatched by some less deserving git.YEAH,I think that way..........life is life,don't type cast it like you do it to every thing.I hate it,I love it...........but then i still live it.Its not a job but then we get paid.Its not sex but you gotta do it..........and i really don't know who in the bluest hell came up with "life is a bitch,and nobody dies a virgin".............damn........HE seriously needs a life,i mean it ,a normal one,whatever that means!I'm still trying to make my life,give it shape make it ah well "live-able".......I usually do miss somethings, i always do............and i can't fight it,I miss myself as of now.My biggest achievement and regret in the last few days.............I MOVED ON...........alot........thats not what i was like,but i am now,and its not really nice to know!"In the wee small hours of the morning"......Jamie Cullum............ah well i could weep a little.........i don't even know why but i could,I don't even know what i lost but i did............and what i won I'm still to discover.THAT'S LIFE,crumbling before ones eyes,rising in front of the others...........a wave probably..........but then hey don't typecast it...........its ah ummmmm i don't know LINGERIE..............hahahahhaha seriously you don't know what it is.........Its life,and it goes on,DAMN IT SOUNDS SOOOOO SAD............this guy I once knew said "AH well its been years since i thought about her,but its nice that you're here"...........and well he moved on.........good for him.........he knows he's got a life,WHO'S HE?!?!?AH well i wish i knew too..........yeah!

"I'm sorry Mary,but its over".........damn ,why do people sing such songs.........like its real cool huh,"ah yeah suck it up,but i don't really like you now............so see ya ah ummmmmmm NEVER!"............and stupid Mary.........she might be all..."damn he was nice".......sugar coated shit in a nice candy box.But then,its what it is.........NO I DON'T HATE ANYONE,damn even i have a life.............so I'll live it........selfish me I'll stuff it with love,why hate..........hate is like the other form of love............you just can't get enough of disliking that person.........sigh,but try not to do that too much,waste of time...........instead fall in love with yourself........no seriously,I HAVE TO..........i keep falling for others and well it ain't that swell.NOW some would go like,damn shes heart broken real bad...........uuummm OK,a little but i can't always think about it in public hehehhe,yes i do think of it.........not that much yeah but when it rains i do..........its a good excuse,no one bothers you,heheheh................TIME TO BE EMO...........or for others to get "horny"............neh its just a good time to think about life and its ways.I always get "that's life,it goes on"..............i mean in different ways but i do..........I also realised we're all fibbers,all of us,to live life we lie............ah i don't really trust anyone now,NO NO NO,I'm not cynical,just that no one takes you along,and why should they............WE ALL HAVE A LIFE,fair enough..........so i have to get one for myself,my kinna life..........SATISFACTION...........i never seem to find it and i realised i miss everything which gave me satisfaction that its life and its good or at least it will be,like my friend in Delhi or this chap i knew ah nice guy, but nice guys no easy business or this other chap the friend i spoke of........ah didn't really speak to him today,anyway........and well I'll miss a whole lot o people when they're gone..........i don't want to so i pray they don't go...........I'm still an amateur in the class of "MOVING ON"...........I can't even forget a stupid song which reminds me of somebody,its hard.........when its everywhere.HAHAHA"did you get my message" is playing............nice song...........did you all get mine?i hope you did,cause its better to see others rot in hell and know what its like,hehehehhe,yeah cause we're all a part of the mob,which gapes at someone in pain or gets excited to see someone happy.............ALL OF US...........so look at me I'm just living my life,that's my plan for the rest of my life...........cause every time i said "I hate living it!" they said "That's life!"

P.S.-"Amen,Omen"..........Ben Harper..........sorry to everyone,I was just avoiding my blog.And then i decided lets be true to one thing at least,or lets trust something besides meself.........stop pretending all of you,its not a great sport.........and i know you all do........i do hate you for it.........and somewhere myself too,goodnight.......if its good enough!

P.P.S.-I miss it,sigh.........i still do........and i don't lie now!

P.P.S.-And those trying to end it..........don't rush things that'll happen too,HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH,sorry........

NEW PLAYLISTS :D

AH well long time............i feel a little outta place in my own world.........its the worst thing ever.........some said "you haven't blogged in a while!".......yeah sorry folks........just a little fuckety time.........but I'll be back.....for now just look at the various changes in here..........OK 4 PLAYLISTS......... thought of catering all yer musical desires(hhhhmmm it sounds a bit weird)anyway.....the 1st as in the red one in all INDIE,the 2nd one,blue one is all JAZZ,3rd one,grey is all adult contemprary and lastly the black one is all rock...........so there it is.........choose........suit yourself.............and as far as I'm concerned.......I'LL BE BACK SOON FORM THE MOON...........yeah just wait!TO THE GOOD MUSIC WE MAKE!

P.S.-do take a look at the poll and well vote........and there is a B'day reminder.........DO WISH ME!

Come wander with me

ah.........the night,dark,silent..........like its all dead, never really had a life.Its mystical,and slow.......some how i do have a sinking feeling,like somethings not right,like it could be better,different.....I'm listening to this song "COME WANDER WITH ME" by Jeff Alexander a less known masterpiece......just a guitar to go with it,somehow the lack of music makes it all the more gloomy...........it kinna makes you want to listen to it again,you feel an uncanny sadness,but its not the kinds you would avoid.......whats weird is,that it makes it sound so beautiful.........its taken from this TV show called "The Twilight Zone" sung by actress Bonny Beecher.I came across it when i was searching for this indie flick "The Brown Bunny".It talks about this girl,wrapped in the worldly sorrow.She doesn't know him,but he tells her to come wander with him,away from this sad world.He shows her dreams,sweet dreams of love and freedom.It almost seems that he came from her sorrows,just for her.........to take her to his world,to the other world,full of love.........just the two them........she wanted to go,go wander with him,be with him,but she had sworn to someone else and couldn't be free.Trapped by her own actions,she couldn't break free,did what she SHOULD have done......and not what she WANTED........
He said come wander with me love
Come wander with me
Away from this sad world
Come wander with me

He came from the sunset
He came from the sea
He came from my sorrow
And can love only me

Oh where is the wanderer
Who wandered this way
He's passed on his wandering
And will never go away

Come wander with me love
Come wander with me
Away from this sad world
Come wander with me

He sang of a sweet love
Of dreams that would be
But I was sworn to another
And could never be free

Below is the video.......sorry i couldn't really put the song on my play list,but do give this a listen.....you sure would love it.

THE BEST SPOOFS EVER(videos)

HEHEHHEHEHEHHEH........ok this might be an amazing book and flick.....but this spoof will just take it to a whole new level.




UUUUMMMMM........i saw this one on some chaps profile on orkut........but nonetheless this is darn good........damn i love e(l)mo!!



HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA.........i could'nt possibly leave idol...........here it is....PISS ON YOURSELVES!!!!





here is the queer,baby dangling freak A.K.A.Michael Jackson.......THIS IS DARN GOOD!!!!

***************

SIGH.....********.........I CAN SEE STARS AROUND ME......OH GOD!!!!!!Did you see Paulo Nutini's advert...the puma one?!??!and the song..."new shoes" eets my fave......of god he's so darn good.....and yes its official i have a crush on Imran Khan.........he's cute........he is my "pretty boi"...........oh Jesus.....I've seen the promo like 50 times,and i still cant get enough........i never thought i would do this......but yes I'm going to see his flick...1st DAY 1st SHOW!!!!YEAH I YAM.....AND hey see the heights of optimism.........it turns out my blood group is B+.....WOO HOO...........HEY THIS MEANS.........all of the inner circle has.........B+.......yeah!!!i can "yeah" on anything right now.......cause the next few days are gonna be tough....but then this whole month has been kinna tough........sigh.........and I had my "down" moments today too.......suddenly like you hit rock bottom.....TTTTTTTTTTRRRDDDDDSSSSSHHHHH...............it always happens with me........and then mum gets all........."what in the hell happened to you?!?!?!" sorts.........she thinks I'm hiding some BIG SECRET..........well i could be I'm a pro at that.....but well its not like I'll tell her"mom,I'm one of the spy kids!"..........but yeah actually i can hide stuff pretty easily and you have no idea........i mean you wont even get to know....i yam so bloody good at that.......and some of my pals bear testimony to that....SO if i don't wanna tell you ,you'll never know........EVER..........I RULE.........I DROOL..........eeeewwww not that............I'm starved...oh hey this reminds me do checkout "MTV storytellers with Dave Matthews".........he's darn witty and yeah an amazing musician...........nitey night.........I'll take off do something constructive like gape at Imran Khan..........yeah that's constructive..........JAH BLESS................and take good care of your selves. :))))))

fook piss poop!!!!

I GOT UP AT 5:30 A.M........I couldn't sleep the whole night.......i did all this for my result......but looks like the ones responsible slept a bit too much.........over slept........FOR A WHOLE WEEK!!!!!CLAT results are delayed not by an hour or a day......but they still haven't decided when they will put it on the net......geez........uurghh!!!!damn its like a month of mourning and it just wont stop.....it all started on may 2nd..and since then nothing all that great has happened(besides this blog)sigh..........i hate to live in this constant terror.........i rather die and get nirvana..heheheh hopefully!!!!so all of you people who are in the same position.........it will be declared anytime between 19th-21st......so go back to your dens..and prepare for NLSD...........happy sucking up!

CURBSIDE PROPHET!

OK YA' ALL.......so here's my anthem...the first song on my play list............yeah the curbside prophet..........go on check it out..........YEAH I GOT A SONG...........HEHEHEHHE.................DO YOU HAVE A SONG THAT GOES WITH YOUR BLOG?!?!?!NO........but yeah i do.......and here it is................WOO HOO!!!!!!Its by Jason Mraz.And so that you guys can sing along....have you little karaoke moment.......here are the lyrics.........yeah!!!!!

I’m just a curbside prophet
with my hand in my pocket
and I’m waiting for my rocket to come
I’m just a curbside prophet
with my hand in my pocket
and I’m waiting for my rocket y'all

You see it started way back in NYC
When I stole my first rhyme from the M-I-C
At a west end avenue at 63
It's the beginning of a leap year February ‘96
win a guitar picked it up in the mix
I committed to the licks a like a nickel bag of tricks
Well Look at me now
Look at me now
Look at me now, now, now, now

I’m just a curbside prophet
with my hand in my pocket
and I’m waiting for my rocket to come
I’m just a curbside prophet
with my hand in my pocket
and I’m waiting for my rocket y'all

Well then you’re never gonna guess
where I been been been
And I have no regrets that I bet my whole checking account
Because it all amounts to nothing up in the end
Well you can only count that “On The Road Again”
Will soon be on my radio dial
And I been paying close attention to the Willie Nelson style
Like a band of gypsies on the highway wild
I’m a one-man mission on the California skyline
Drive up the coast and I brag and I boast
because I’m picking up my pace, I'm makin' time like Space Ghost
Raising a toast to the highway patrol at the most
But my cruise control’s on coast
Cause I’m tourin’ around the nation on extended vacation
See I got Elsa the dog who exceeds my limitations
I say, “I like your style crazy pound pup!
You need a ride? well come on girl hop in the truck"

With the curbside prophet
with my hand in my pocket
and I’m waiting for my rocket to come
I’m just a curbside prophet
with my hand in my pocket
and I’m waiting for my rocket y'all
i'm just a curbside prophet
with my hand in my pocket
and i'm waiting for my rocket to come on
i'm just a curbside prophet
with my hand in my pocket
and i'm waiting for my rocket y'all

See I’m a down-home brother red-neck undercover
With my guitar here I’m ready to play
And I’m a sucker for philly got a natural ability
geared to freestyle look at my flexibility
Dangerous on the MIC
My ghetto hat's cocked right
All the ladies say,
“Yo, that kid is CRAZY!”
We got the backstage Betties takin’ more than they can get
They say, “whats up with M-R-A-Z?"

Hey hey hey! Somethin’s different in my world today
Well they changed my traffic signs to a brighter yellow(repeat)

I'm just a Curbside Prophet love, (Repeat 5x)
And I'm waitin'for my rocket I said a waitin' for my rocket to come now *Fading out* curbside..come now brother.....

The "Chip" in my life!

Sunny,but not little miss sunshine,pricey but not a bitch,crazy but sane,hot but that's just cause of the summers.........hehehheh........Disha,the golden girl,OH YEAH SHE IS......How can i ever do without her,she's always been there and specially in every "guy" thing-nanny,twiddly......heheh and its been swell,the best.She's my partner in everything,and i love hanging around with her,its like FIRE FIRE FIRE.........yeah she's the fire of my life........others got extinguished.....but she,she's on, heating it up huh,hehehehheh.seriously dish,I'm gonna miss you when you're gone,and right now i have a heavy heart,its been a while since that happened,its amazing how you were always there for me,seriously you always made it,online,remember,"COPY-PASTE"......scrolls and scrolls..........EPICS!!!!and you telling me "will you stop being a bitch and sort it out!!!"...................or if i had a stupid plan to get back at someone you would go like "OH GOD!!I hope he/she knows what they're into!!!".That "major" fight we had,when i was soooooooo cold......damn i missed you dish,your like this pal i really can't do without,Even when you're in Chicago making out with some lame ass..........I WILL CALL YOU.......and tell you my stories,and my stupid plans of "hurting" someone...........hehehheheh...........and hey you're "firang" but damn i love you for being all that.I still remember, well it all started with.................a chair?!?!HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA........no no.........with a jerk........its all cause of sandman that we got to be friends in the real sense.........and hey your chicken sandwitches........mmmmmmm.JEEZ,for bearing my stupid kiddish ways,my weird mood swings,my HUMOUR............hehehhe.........i'm gross but hey i'm the wittiest chick you could come across!!!THE INNER CIRCLE.............oh god.........its like a sense of security i feel when i hear this name,and it sounds sooooooo cool..........like the Rat-Pack...........and all the codes we had-sandman,Antony,nanny.........damn, no i mean........DAIYAM!And those page long msgs........I'm so glad you were online when i was.........for clearing my messy thoughts........making me believe in something,ah so what if its gone.........everythings got an expiry date...........BUT THEN SOME DON'T............and of course "me and you".........forever..........imagine,anchita sharma 20 years from now..........my kids are gonna come to you for "snob"classes,yeah, to shreya for"managerial" classes,to himani for "creativity" classes to sneha for"shastrya sangeet" classes,"limericks"classes AND "how to lose stuff" classes,mridul for "daychuckness" and"janglee-ness" classes.............HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAAH........dish,i mean i feel so satisfied even when i talk on Gmail with you.....i mean GMAIL............FOR HEAVEN SAKE!!!!!!BUT THEN,I've got some experience there.............all the music sharing, you're the only one i do that with,besides sneha........rest are my pupils..........hehheheheh....dish you gotta agree.......you cant do without me,i mean who ever knows me, can't........i'm like oxygen,you cant do without me.And even in "amreeka" no one's gonna be as good as me......those white shits can never be me.........YOU KNOW IT,I KNOW IT..........AND NOW EVERYONE KNOWS IT...........dish,i love you...i never thought i would ever say that to A CHICK,but desperation......hehehhe..cant fight it........neh,ME AMORE..........just be there,you're the lightest looking strongest anchor of my life.Just be there,in some way,i might not be verbal and i might pretend,but this bears testimony........I'll always need you to be there,for everything..........and one last thanks,for making me write that mail,i could've never done it if it wasn't for you guys.
and now i shall twist the lines of a song for disha...............the songs by timbuk 3........so here it goes.........."disha is so bright,i have got to wear sunglasses"..........hehehehhehe.........love ya chippy..........I'm always gonna be anchi for you.........the same weird,witty,oxygen-like-important girl.........YOU NEED ME,you can never do without me..........JAH BLESS!!!!!!!

PSST-the 2nd song on my play list is for you....just replace future with.......DISH!!!!!

Just dropped in to say hi.....and a little more

Its 10:28,I've to take a shower,Me pals are coming home......YEAH YEAH YEAHS!!!!!Chippy is going to "vilayat"...........Chicago hence this meeting...........of the inner circle........and I've seen Imran Khan's movie's promo 55 times........I'm still seeing it...........*sighs*...HE IS SO CUTE.DAMN......I've told this chap who lives in Mumbai to kidnap Imran,and post him..........hehehheheh........Which reminds me,one of my online pals,will not be here as in online for a while......I'm a little sad cause he read all my blog posts like a good boy and well gtalk was fun with him............sigh.......but then he needed this break...........Jah bless........anyway have a nice day.........RESULTS TOMORROW!!!!!HOLY FFFFFFFFFATHER............and please do go through the following pieces..........if you haven't or are new on this blog-
Presence of the Past
The Pink Sun(don't be too harsh on this one,if you don't like it, SPECIAL REQUEST!)
Love,Janie
More than Words
He said,she said
HELLO!We are shallow!
Randaom(but not lame)
Love-not a bed time story
Oh god!!its me again
I'm a dreamer
Blue Haze

thank you.............and go pamper yourself............with something good...........and not kinky!

Random.....i just need one read and a smile :)

uummmmmmmm,hows the day,the sun is out,i had no fights..........got awesome comments,READ A PIECE ON ME!!!!yes,I'm an inspiration,hehehehhe.......no no but seriously i did,nice little thing,very true,very bang on correct.........so it felt good.Its different when you write for someone,I mean then its more like "i wish he/she likes it,i hope its good enough".....and when you get the green flag you're happy........OK understatement,"you feel like doing cartwheels".......hehehhe........seriously now I've written poems for 3 people,BUT the "Pink Sun" still has no match.........damn.........i better write something better,but then i need an inspiration......and its hard to find an inspiration,crowds look more like mobs,sweet people seem more like fake flatterers,trees are dead,the sun's pissed........the rains ....well they.......just remind me "Anchita,we'll wash down everything,all your attempts to look elsewhere,to get something new".....so its more like a war with the rains.........heheheh............and the moon.........pale-faced goon......damn if it was cheese i would've eaten it up.......end of it all.........but then i think too much.........and that's not gonna happen.........but I'm happy.........and in a way content,whatever i left behind was good,and well if it can't get its right place in my present, its better to end it there........PLAY FAIR.........PLAY BRAVE..........and that's what i did,so I'm HAPPY..........and now I'm smiling cause that's all i can do which won't harm anyone,no sarcasm,no stupid petty games,no cuss words..............just a smile...........i feel lucky.........somewhere all of you are,just look around,someone will make you feel that way..........yeah trust me.............cause if you were good it'll all come back to you...........it will...........my word..........so just hang on,and it'll happen.........and do look up once in a while........yeah it helps!

PSST-just smile,read something you wrote a while back for someone,or a old letter...........try to celebrate it and not cry over it,trust me once you do that,you'll be happy,complete,ready to take on what comes next!and hey listen to Tokyo-Athlete.....cause I'm listening to it.........:P